Only penis-in-vagina sex is proper sex

There are all kinds of ways of having sex and different things work best for different people, and for the same person or relationship at different times. However, sex in the media is nearly always portrayed as penis-in-vagina penetration, giving the impression that this is the only real, normal, or proper kind of sex and that anything else is inferior or even abnormal. Often other activities are regarded as ‘foreplay’ and ‘foreplay’ is not seen as ‘proper’ sex.

The representation of sex as equivalent to penis-in-vagina penetration assumes that all sex is between one person with a penis and one person with a vagina, excluding other kinds of relationships. It also assumes that penetration is the most pleasurable physical act, ignoring the fact that the vast majority of people with vaginas need external stimulation (often of the clitoris) in order to feel pleasure and/or orgasm, and many people with penises are more stimulated by other practices too. Finally, penis-in-vagina sex is one of the most risky practices in terms of transmission of sexual transmitted infections (STIs), and it is the practice most likely to result in pregnancy. So presenting other forms of sex as just as ‘proper’ is good for reducing STI rates and unwanted pregnancy.

A better was of representing sex would to always include a diversity of practices, for example: mutual masturbation, sharing sexual fantasies or experiences (either in person or over the phone/internet), oral sex, solo sex of various kinds, sex between different genders and numbers of people, sharing sexual images, sexual fantasy, various kinds of kink (spanking, tying up, etc.), sensual massage, and anal sex.

 

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